My mum is a typical Nigerian woman and i love her dearly. she is my pillar, support, friend, sister, confidant, gossip partner and above all mother.
I discuss everything with my mum except sex and i just don't know why. I cold never walk up to mum and say hey mum do you know Ben had sex with Jane? The look on her face will make me change "sex" to "slept "with. I guess she is comfortable with that ( mummy and her wahala)
Like my mum, a lot of women her time had a problem discussing sex and how they could relate it to their kids. Mummy was bold enough to tell me "if a man should touch me i would get pregnant or if i seat on a man's lap i would get pregnant (i know some of you reading has similar tale to mine)". Apparently, there are a lot of ladies as myself that their mum never taught them to use a sanitary pad (mum taught me well) and they had to learn from their friends which doesn't exclude sex also.
I think the curiosity about sex is a natural thing for everyone, we all just want to know more, read more and see more, most especially for a child that is beginning to be aware of his/her body changes and also experiencing puberty. We are way past my mum's time and we should act fast in discussing sex with our adolescent. Let it start from the house, discuss it at the early stage and continue with the discussion while they grow to be adults. By doing so, you have won their confidence and trust and they will share everything with you no matter how uncomfortable. But if you don't, someone outside would and we don't want that.
Seize the moment, maybe when they are watching a movie and the characters are becoming cozy or when you notice your male/female child is becoming away of the changes in his/her body. Be honest about it. Discussing sex can be uncomfortable so find your courage and stance. Be direct in explaining every detail from oral sex to intercourse, share the dangers of premarital sex, sexually transmitted diseases and teenage pregnancy and also tell the oral sex is not a good alternative to intercourse and oral sex doesn't protect you heart. listen to their point of view, understand their challenges, worries and fears, also answers all their questions no matter how awkward. Right now the media sells sex (just like the simple hollandia yogurt ad i watched with Seyi Shey in it, makes me scream come on its yogurt) and we don't want our children buying that crap so we have to watch them closely.
#Clearsthroat, i know how to discuss sex with my children and here are my pointers:
1) Have a plan with my husband on the best time to discuss sex education with our children.
2) While they are seated, i will start by saying "i and your daddy has something important to discuss with you and it is about sex". I will let them know how uncomfortable i am about the issue.
3) Still continuing, i will tell them "sex is a gender with two main categories, male and female, i will also tell them to put that in their minds each time they hear the word sex.
4) When am done with the gender issue, i will look at my husband, give him a beautiful smile and say " honey can you please continue with the topic".
Oh God i know the look on his face would be priceless, did i just set my husband up? I am my mothers's daughter and will be unease talking about sex with my kids, but in my good hubby will i find courage and a way out. Oh God give my husband the courage to carry on with the discussion. To know more here. what do you think?
Giving it up to my future husband.
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