Do you remember me? Ada from last
time, the lady that was slapped out of her dreams. If you can’t recall, please allow me to reintroduce
myself (Read) I went to mummy’s kiosk and as usual she scolded me; “that’s how you
will sleep your life away in your husband’s house, you can’t do things at the
right time.
Look at Monica’s wedding card, she brought it.” Instantly I felt my
heart in my stomach, dull Monica, wayward Monica, I couldn’t understand. I was
better than her I thought, I attended church more than she did, how come was she
getting married before I? Amidst my thoughts, my mother continued “common Monica
wey you beta pass don catch husband e remain you” I immediately cut my mother
short “mummy when you get to the market to get supplies please purchase a
husband for me”. I was so annoyed I raised my voice at my mum, she had no idea
I was trying my best and my dreams were filled with finding Mr Right. I thought
I had won the argument with my mom and then she chirped in “Monica told me she
found her husband at the church, they are both choristers and maybe you should
change your church to Monica’s”.
At that point I was lost for words, why has
God decided to punish me with my parents, I deal with mummy in the day time and
daddy takes over at night. Even after she was gone, I couldn’t stop thinking
about her words. I logged into Facebook to stalk Monica (don’t judge me, we all
do it) and there it was on my news-feed her pre-wedding photo shoot. Why do
people do this (story for another), rubbing their lives in our faces. The
gossip part of me ran wild, her face was overly madeup and the wig was too big
for her head. I was envious and angry at
Monica’s happiness; I deserved to be happy myself.
I called a good friend of mine
Bunmi, told her what transpired between I and my mom, I also told her about
Monica’s wedding and we sure gossiped. After it all Bunmi counselled and advised
me she told me I had a better chance of choosing the right man as a single lady.
We said our byes then she hung up. There I was holding Monica’s IV, no man, no
option and no hope of getting married soon. I thought about getting pregnant
for a man, after all everyone on my street know Monica is pregnant, but my dad
would kill me if I dared.
I was lost in thought when mummy
came back, she knew she offended me, she apologised and gave me a bead necklace
she bought from the market. My mum had a way of apologising and gifts were one
of them. She told me about a pastor that prays for single ladies and they
immediately get married. It was too good to be true even though I was skeptical,
I dared not let it show.
Later that evening, I followed mummy
to the church for an all-night programme. I was indifferent about the vigil, I
wanted it to be over with but time ran slow. Then the moment came, there were
categories of people he called to the altar to pray for; the sick, job seekers,
business men and women, pregnant and barren women. Finally he yelled “I would
love to pray for every single girl here seeking for a husband, come out to the
altar right now” he started counting. I was forced to scream back at him
“pastor hold it, that can’t be the final prayer. What about men looking for
wives don’t they deserve to be prayed on”? Then I held my peace before I would
be taken for a possessed girl.
The whole church emptied at the
altar, this husband thing was a serious issue. Hajara our neighbour’s daughter
who is 21 years old was at the altar too. As I stood at the altar the pastor
started to give a brief speech before praying. “Some of you ladies will be in a
serious relationship with a man, and when it’s time for marriage, the man disappears,
that is the spirit husband at work he doesn’t want you to marry. Some of you
have never been in a relationship and have never been proposed to before, that
is the same spirit at work, some of you it is the forces from your father’s house
that is withstanding your marital destiny”. He prayed for us thoroughly and
mandated us to register for a full deliverance class which will help break the
stubborn covenant with the spirit husband. As I got back to my chair, mummy
didn’t hesitate; she told me I must enroll for deliverance class. You see mummy
wasn’t my problem, the pastor was. I had a big problem with the pastor on how
he would tie my fate to a spirit being, here was my argument;
1) Mr Pastor why would you pray only for the single
ladies that wants to get married and not also the eligible bachelors?
2) What makes you think we have spirit husband?
3) So pastor there are a lot of
spirit men that will rather marry living women than their female spirit
counterparts if so, why didn’t you pray for the single men against a spirit
wife or don’t you think living men need prayers?
4) Mr Pastor why don’t you hold a
deliverance class for men and while you at it, teach them chastity, tell them
to be hardworking, responsible, talk to them about wealth creation and how to
treat a lady right.
5) At one of the sessions talk to
them about breaking the bond and covenant of the spirit wife.
6) Finally tell them to hurry Ada
needs to marry this year.
Why is society tough on single
ladies, i thought to myself with my eyes closed. I don't know how long I slept
through the service, but I sure woke up to a slap at my back (this slap again,
only this time I was hoping I was dreaming), it was my dear mother. “Shame unto
you, sleeping while in church, stand up the service is over. Hallelujah! I screamed
in my head.
To be continued.........
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